What is a self-fulfilling prophecy? A Self-fulfilling prophecy is a deep held belief, often negative, that a person continues to recreate unconsciously and therefore, continues to have experiences that validate this self fulfilling prophecy. It could be “everyone leaves me” or “No matter what I do, I’ll always struggle financially”
Where do these self-fulfilling prophecies come from? They usually originate in the early years of a person’s life and are often re-enforced throughout life. (I.e. women/men can’t be trusted). If a message is heard or implied repetively, it will eventually become fact in the subconscious mind. The conscious mind may try believe something new and more rewarding, but the unconscious mind has been convinced these beliefs are facts.
Why do people have self-fulfilling prophecies? As an adult, the person continues to recreate this negative belief through experiences, which only serves to strengthen this belief. (I.e. they find men /woman that can’t be trusted and eliminate those that can) Now, in their world and in their frame of reference it has become a truth and they can give you several examples to validate this truth. Self fulfilling prophesies (regardless of the emotional pain and destruction) are by nature designed to be validated, to be true and accurate (i.e. women/men can’t be trusted –they pick an untrustworthy partner)
Why do people hold on to their self-fulfilling prophesies? This belief has been played out and reinacted enough for validity in the belief to strong enough to convince the person that their self-fulfilling prophesy is proven to be factual, at least for them.
When does a person eliminate their self-fulfilling prophecy? Often people begin to look at themselves because they realize that a pattern exist in their life. Some people have to lose many things and/or many people they love repeatedly before they desire that change. Ideally, they get tired of the pain –the losses and realize they have to make the changes, both intellectually and behaviorally, which in turn causes emotional discomfort. That is one of the beautiful aspects of my job. I am blessed to help people figure out why they keep finding them self in the same situation again and again. Additionally, our unhealthy behavior may be benefitting the needs of others unhealthy self-fulfilling prophesies making changing more uncomfortable. This is the time to look at your deep held beliefs driving your actions. Is it time for you to eliminate your self-fulfilling prophesies???
Change can be frightening – we often do not know the outcome. Getting healthy changes our relationships. That can bring both support and resistance! BE STRONG FOR YOU!!!